What Do I Think About That?

  In his book, Never Split the Difference, hostage negotiator turned business and sales guru Chris Voss says “the most dangerous negotiation is the one you don’t know you are in.”In this post, I am going to attempt to show you how there is a hostage situation at play in your life and that you are both the hostage and the hostage taker.  In my previous post I discussed the need to set you intentions and also express a desire to make your gifts manifested in the world, regardless of payment or prerequisites other than in response and support of worthy intentions set by and lived out by others. Not only does this way of thinking about your gifts, talents, and resources creating the possibility of a peaceful, prosperous, and creative world, it also has direct spiritual implications. In her book The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown had this to say about the benefits of exercising out gifts and the consequences of withholding them:  We all have gifts and talents. When we cul...

I recently had a conversation with a friend who was struggling with depression. He told me that he was really struggling with what he had to live for. No plans, just a lot of intrusive thoughts and depression. I don’t think my friend is alone in his feelings but I do believe he’s braver for being vocal about it. Henry David Thoreau wrote that “most men live lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with their song still in them.”  I know this is true because I’ve been there, wondering if I’ll ever make it, if I’ll ever find a real authentic community that knows me and shows up for each other in truth and compassion. I’ve wondered if I’ll ever really get to know someone who is truly inspiring or if my life would be relegated to seeing stars perform always from a distance.  I’m sure my friend has felt something similar. Will he every feel true love? Will he ever escape the pressure of society that is continually demanding he pay for his existence? Will he ever be ok with fe...

The Power of Addiction and the Addiction of Power: Gabor Mate I watched two videos today.  One was from the Canadian physician and author  Gabor Maté . He spoke on not just the negative consequences of addiction, but why addiction seems to be able to hold such inescapable and even illogical to the point of death power of a person. His definitions of addiction was noteworthy:  “ Addiction is about filling internal emptiness from the outside . ” “ Addiction is any behavior that gives temporary relief but causes long-term problems and pain ” It is from this position and understanding of addiction that Dr. Gabor took direct aim at his audience and listeners.  “ We judge the drug addict instead of recognizing our own addiction to oil, to consumerism, to power because that makes us uncomfortable. So we separate them and say “You’re not like us ” “ Let’s not look to people in power to change things, because the people in power are often the most empty. We must change thing...

Preface The following is a retelling of several events in my life. I have not tried to be exhaustive in either the recounting of all my traumas or even in the highlighting of the most significant parts. There are many very happy memories from my childhood and adulthood that I have left out, including relationships with people. I have tried to represent the happy memories and the masks I was wearing with the pictures throughout. At one point in my life, I believed that the way to overcome trauma and suffering was to ignore it and pretend it didn’t exist. I have since come to learn that the path to healing and power is through the trauma, through radical acceptance, which means feeling it in its fullness and leaving it where it belongs. The following is a result of me doing just that. I intend for it to give others the permission and encouragement to do the same for themselves.  Chapter 1: The Hold Up I am standing next to my mom in the living room. Fifteen and feeling like a protect...